Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My little Boy?!?!

My sweet little boy!!He was so cute and sweet!
(Here it looks like his eyes are weird, I tried to take the red out!)


Now....Still cute....but ummmm!!!???

OK, I have to vent a little. Christmas gets a little bit out of control with all the I wants and get me thats. I think we need to take a step back in our family and have a family home evening on the true meaning of Christmas. I think today put me over the edge. Brigham ended up in time out, in his room for most of the afternoon. Which he doesn't like, we do not have many toys in his room and no TV, so all he could really do is sit on his bed and occasionally kick his wall. Which was getting him in more trouble. The really bad thing about his behavior is that his little two year old sister learns from him. This really scares me!

OK, I will share what threw me over the edge today...I had a few errands to run today. Post Office, Bank and then to Walgreen's for a prescription. Well, I guess Jon took Brig to Walgreen's on Friday or Saturday and there was a little tiny batman figure thing and I guess Brig wanted it really badly. Jon told him maybe for Christmas because that one there was expensive and Jon thought he could find it cheaper somewhere else. So, of course Brigham threw a fit. For some reason he thinks that when he cries about something that will magically change our answers. I think that he thinks we don't hear him either because he does it so loudly too!

Now, so today, when I told him we were going to Walgreen's he thought that we were going in and going to get this toy. I told him we were going through the drive up area and not going in the store. This started the crying again. He cried, and cried, and cried. I had to wait in the car line for about 15-20 min. They were very busy. He wouldn't stop. I told him that he wasn't even going to get it for Christmas if he kept up the fit. So, he kept up the fit. I then told him he was going to go to a time out in his room when we got home and his behavior was unacceptable.


I could hardly hear the lady I was trying to talk to, to get my RX. Amazingly, I kept my cool and didn't yell at him. So, then we headed to the bank. Luckily, the bank has a drive up area too, but still he was crying. The lady there just laughed. I was not laughing!

So, we start heading home and he stops crying for a second and I thought, good that's over. Then he says..." Mom, If you don't get me that toy right now, then buy me some lunch, right now!" I couldn't believe what he said, and the way he said it to me! O'my. This was it! I told him he was not to talk to me that way, I was the mom and he is the 4 year old. This earned him time out for the rest of the afternoon in his room. He was not happy.

We get in the door and he says I don't want time out. I said it was worse than time out, and he was going to his room for the afternoon. He says, " How many minutes is it?" I said, "A LOT"
He started to throw another fit because he didn't want time out and I said the next step was good spanking. So, he ran up the stairs. O'my! By this time I needed a time out!!! I made a cup of hot chocolate, which, by the way gives me major heart burn, but I love it and have it anyways. Followed by antacids.

Does anyone have anymore suggestions on how to deal with a boy that thinks he knows everything and thinks he has everything figured out at four? What is it going to be like when he is a teen? I am a little worried! I hope that this is just a stage with him.

Last night I put him in a time out down stairs and he spit a raspberry at me. Where in the world did he learn that? This got him a spank on the but and to his room. I am going crazy!

Reminds me of my painting downstairs in my house...


I will remain calm.
I will not slam doors.
I will not raise my voice.
I will not break things.
I will not throw tantrums!
I will not act like a child!!!
I am the MOTHER!
THE MOTHER!!
THE MOTHER!!!!!!

I love this. I am sure that I am not the only one that is dealing with behavioral issue. We are starting to get a complex... are we bad parents or something?! Please, if you have any suggestions please write a comment. Thanks!!!

5 comments:

Davenport Family said...

I wish I had some great advice for you, but I don't. Sorry! Good luck & keep praying for strength! I did read a great book called The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers. It is helping me a lot with Kimmie right now, if you would like to borrow it you can. I am not sure what age it goes up to, but maybe it could give you some ideas. Let me know!

Little Star said...

Great Post!!!! What a rough day...

I don't think anyone can say for sure... But I believe it's part of his growing spurt, and part of his age... testing boundries and learning his limits... AND I really believe if you're consistent then gradually by 6 he'll have grown out of it... the tantrums at least... The get me's and the i wants at Christmas will probably take a little longer. They are kids, and the commercialization of Christmas is all around them, everywhere... As long as YOU don't teach them the I WANT and GET ME this attitude... and you teach the real meaning, they'll eventually get it... part of it is learning how to communicate and manage their desires and delayed gratification... it might be a bit much to expect out of a 4 year old, but closer to 6 and 7 and 8 it gets easier... Jimmy and Tiara went through that more last year and the year before... not so much this year... Tiara has matured a lot, Jimmy still LOVES all things presents and toys, but he doesn't do tantrums anymore... I give him all the toy magazines we get in the mail, and he gets to look at and circle everything he wants to his hearts content... and he does. he's not allowed to say I want or get me this unless we ask, and for the most part he doesn't, at least not like two years ago. He understands now that if he bugs us too much, we won't get it... they don't understand that at 4 i don't think... they just act on base urges and impulses... 4 year olds are very limited... LOL!
At 6 Jimmy also understands money more. He get's .25cents for every day he does chores, which equals $2-$4 a month. He pays tithing and we goto the dollar store alot. Plus he gets a dollar for every year he is on his birthday... so when he counts his money, and thinks about toys... i hear him saying all the time... "That's $40.00 NO way, that's way too much"... LOL, or "that will take me forever to save, i'll look for something else"... I LOVE IT!!! Now those expensive gifts he see's don't seem so great, since he knows how long it takes to save...

My point is... keep teaching them good things, and they'll get it...

(One more help we do is, we don't let them watch commercials on TV. We TiVo everything, even their favorite cartoons, so when we watch a program, we fast forward through the commercials... it doesn't eliminate them 100%, but A LOT!)

Today's a new day!!!

xoxoxoxo

Lu!

Jones Family said...

Your post made me laugh. I too can relate to this. I have no advice. You are a great mother and with most naughty things kids do, the stage will eventually pass. By the way, I could use a copy of your poem!

Kaydi Paxman said...

I read this post earlier in the week but when I just clicked on the blog and saw the baby picture I thought you had had Natasha!
I hope you're hanging in there.

Emily Philip said...

I didn't know you had a blog!! I wish that I had that much to say on my blog. Happy Holidays!!!

Cassie Pedersen